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Who Is Koanic?
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#21 Koanic

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Posted 06 August 2012 - 10:26 PM

If you take them as a whole and average everything out, yeah, both are kinda weesh and not that dissimilar. But I don't watch movies that way, I skip or ignore the lame and focus on the highlights. There's no other way to endure Hollywood.

#22 Ske1etonjelly

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Posted 06 August 2012 - 10:52 PM

Let's talk about the number of girls you hve bedded Koanic

Is it over or under 3?

#23 rho

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Posted 06 August 2012 - 11:09 PM

Hands up, who hasn't seen the latest Batman comic book movie?

I haven't. Don't have an opinion on it either.

Now, who has the most emphatic opinion on goons and their movies?

#24 Koanic

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Posted 07 August 2012 - 12:06 AM

It's somewhere in the teens, but they were all mustachioed wookies. I have a furry fetish.

How many Ewoks have you molested?

#25 Toad of Muh Dick Hall

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Posted 07 August 2012 - 01:40 AM

lol PUA Batman. This guy missed the point about climbing out of the prison. Just an excuse for him to be mad at the chicks who wouldn't date him in his teens.

Stand by it we need to ban video game and comic movie threads.
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#26 Koanic

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Posted 07 August 2012 - 02:24 AM

Nobody could've missed Nolan's hamfisted point. The Russian doctor spergologued it. You'd get dazed by a fortune cookie.

#27 Toad of Muh Dick Hall

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Posted 07 August 2012 - 03:19 AM

So if you got the point why spend multiple 888 posts missing it because of WOMEN!!!!

Over use of the word sperg, being offended by a summer blockbuster, PUA kookery and ponyfaggotry. Would be a great troll for Mlad. :mlad:
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#28 Koanic

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Posted 07 August 2012 - 04:18 AM

Because people picked that inconsequential detail to call me out on.

"Today is a lucky day for those who remain cheerful and optimistic."

Think about it.

#29 Toad of Muh Dick Hall

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Posted 07 August 2012 - 11:56 AM

:goonthink: Sounds like a lawgic trap
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#30 Beastman AIDS

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Posted 09 August 2012 - 01:09 AM

Quote

Plus, Nolan had a chance to mow down 3,000 New York cops with the latest in high tech super tanks and HE DIDN'T TAKE IT. I could've DRIVEN through them and inflicted more casualties in a VW Bug. How does a battle between a bunch of terrorists with AK-47's and a bunch of cops with pistols turn into a street brawl. Nobody even picked up a bottle or a stick FFS. Someone needs to make an independent film of nothing but anarchists killing cops for 90 minutes. And their shiny uniforms after a month s**tting in a tunnel. Kill me now.

This is a f**king stupid reason to not like a movie but I'm going to tempt fate here and say I sort of agree that the scene was, well, wrong.... I don't have any schadenfreude towards cops but it's kind of a dumb when Bane's elite platoon of assault rifle-toting guerrillas and a squadron of bat-tanks only manage to pop a few cops out of a mob of thousands during their big charge. I mean yes, this is a movie for general audiences, I didn't really expect it to re-enact the intro to Saving Private Ryan, but seeing the majority of the policemen evade a hail of bullets like that killed all the tension in the scene for me.

Not saying I didn't find the scene spectacular, but I think having some shots of policemen hurdling the bodies of their fallen friends would have added to the intensity.

#31 Koanic

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Posted 09 August 2012 - 01:49 AM

I'm being hyperbolic because I hated how they pozzed Bane and feminazied everything. I don't actually mind cops as heroes. All they would've had to do was add Batman's suppressing fire and I would've been happy with that scene. The real problem was that every might've-been-cool fight scene in the movie has those kinds of "hmmm" fuckups that take you out of the moment.

In Batman 2 there was nothing dumb about Batman torturing the Joker, getting beat down with a pipe, getting messed up by dogs, etc. I don't know why Nolan went full retard and forced us to endure e.g. lengthy shots of the Batjet hovering two inches over Battanks with nobody shooting at anybody, so that catwoman can magically ace a tank and prove Batman needs vaginal assistance.

The realism of human body battle damage in 2 was great, Batman getting all sore and bruised. In 3 he magically is fine after getting kidney stabbed - and not only doesn't bleed out but swims through miles of nuke-roiled ocean. Possibly there's a deleted scene where Catwoman uses her squidlike vagina propulsion system to rescue him from the superheated waves. Either that or he dramatically realizes that the only way to make it back is to take off his life vest.

I think Nolan just got lucky with 2. In 2 the romantic triangle is hyper-pozzed as Batman :hardship: for the Rachel lawyer cunt. But it was acceptable because the villains and fight scenes were unpolluted - even hilarious by contrasting the Joker more starkly. In any case you can skip the gay bits. I barely remember 1 but I recall the snippily sociopathic Scarecrow offset the chick well, and there was a lot of chick-free time in prison and monasteries. But in 3 Nolan spread out the poz equally and the result is an unwatchable movie.

Koanic's law of modern cinema: Most accidentally great movie becomes progressively gayer with sequels. This occurs at a rate higher than simple reversion to the mean, because greater attention is paid and effort expended on optimizing said sequels, thus more reliably expressing Hollywood's pozzy soul.

#32 working class bruiser

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Posted 09 August 2012 - 02:25 AM

View PostKoanic, on 09 August 2012 - 01:49 AM, said:

I'm being hyperbolic because I hated how they pozzed Bane and feminazied everything. I don't actually mind cops as heroes. All they would've had to do was add Batman's suppressing fire and I would've been happy with that scene. The real problem was that every might've-been-cool fight scene in the movie has those kinds of "hmmm" fuckups that take you out of the moment.

In Batman 2 there was nothing dumb about Batman torturing the Joker, getting beat down with a pipe, getting messed up by dogs, etc. I don't know why Nolan went full retard and forced us to endure e.g. lengthy shots of the Batjet hovering two inches over Battanks with nobody shooting at anybody, so that catwoman can magically ace a tank and prove Batman needs vaginal assistance.

The realism of human body battle damage in 2 was great, Batman getting all sore and bruised. In 3 he magically is fine after getting kidney stabbed - and not only doesn't bleed out but swims through miles of nuke-roiled ocean. Possibly there's a deleted scene where Catwoman uses her squidlike vagina propulsion system to rescue him from the superheated waves. Either that or he dramatically realizes that the only way to make it back is to take off his life vest.

I think Nolan just got lucky with 2. In 2 the romantic triangle is hyper-pozzed as Batman :hardship: for the Rachel lawyer cunt. But it was acceptable because the villains and fight scenes were unpolluted - even hilarious by contrasting the Joker more starkly. In any case you can skip the gay bits. I barely remember 1 but I recall the snippily sociopathic Scarecrow offset the chick well, and there was a lot of chick-free time in prison and monasteries. But in 3 Nolan spread out the poz equally and the result is an unwatchable movie.

Koanic's law of modern cinema: Most accidentally great movie becomes progressively gayer with sequels as performance reverts to the mean.
He didn't swim through miles of ocean, he made an autopilot for the Batjet

#33 Koanic

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Posted 09 August 2012 - 02:33 AM

It's left ambiguous how far out he was when he bailed.

#34 working class bruiser

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Posted 09 August 2012 - 02:42 AM

Logically, he wouldn't want to swim too far if he could avoid it.

#35 Koanic

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Posted 09 August 2012 - 03:04 AM

Whereas in actuality, the film shows him in the cockpit, after he's buzzed the kids and winked out on the horizon, nothing but blue ocean in front, with the timer beeping down.

And since even Alfred didn't know he survived, we can assume he didn't get medical treatment anywhere that would recognize Bruce Wayne, i.e. all of Gotham.

There have been reasonable protagonist shivvings - e.g. Lex Luthor vs Superman. This was not one of them.

A stab in the back bad enough to instantly take a hardened fighter out of combat is going to be fatal without surgery to stop internal bleeding. Instead Nolan just forgot that Batman had been stabbed.

#36 PLEASUREMAN

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Posted 09 August 2012 - 09:02 AM

View PostKoanic, on 09 August 2012 - 02:33 AM, said:

It's left ambiguous how far out he was when he bailed.
that is what is stupid about your complaints, anything that isn't exhaustively explained is considered a plot hole

CHRISTOPHER NOLAN FEMINAZIED DARK KNIGHT JUST TIE SOME CLOTHES TOGETHER YOU IDIOT HE WAS STABBED OFFSCREEN BUT ACCORDING TO MY 888 KNOWLEDGE OF MEDICAL ANATOMY FURTHERMORE

I was joking earlier about saying you had a point with the PUA angle, your rants are so wound up no one takes you seriously, although they are kind of funny in spite of themselves for how obsessively you return to dumb Internet rhetoric to explain your frustrations with the plot of an action movie

UGH ROLLEYES HERE COMES CATWOMAN TO LEND VAGINAL ASSISTANCE TO THAT STUPID POZ BATMAN IN HIS FIGHT WITH STUPID POZ BETA WHITE KNIGHT BANE DID I ALREADY SAY UGH WELL THE POINT STANDS

I think most people don't mind that in a movie nearly three hours long Nolan didn't tack on an extra 30 minutes showing Batman getting patched up, replaying exactly when and how he ditched, and answering other questions only you were asking out of annoyance at some girl being in the story...you don't even have a point about the policemen's charge but there's no good motivation for arguing with someone as out of it as you, just go on posting your run-on non sequiturs but don't imagine they're being read with chin-stroking thoughtfulness

you're dumb enough to believe some bedsheets and a rock will get you out of a giant pit, I'll take your ballistics and combat wound assessments with a grain of salt, assuming when I am watching it again I am torn away from the pacing, acting, story, and visuals by floating hallucinations of your posts bobbing to and fro
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#37 Koanic

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Posted 09 August 2012 - 10:01 AM

The movie dashed my hopes, delivering boredom with minor spikes of disgust. Listing everything wrong with it was eminently enjoyable, particularly to an audience that liked it.

What's brought me closure, though, is the suggestion that my criticisms will ruin your rewatch.

Thank you.

#38 Toad of Muh Dick Hall

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Posted 09 August 2012 - 10:26 AM

Your criticism is that it's not realistic and it didn't follow the Bane origin from the comic book (which was pretty much the same for the movie without the dumb venom s**t). Oh, and vaginas.   :lol:
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#39 PLEASUREMAN

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Posted 09 August 2012 - 11:17 AM

View PostKoanic, on 09 August 2012 - 10:01 AM, said:

The movie dashed my hopes, delivering boredom with minor spikes of disgust. Listing everything wrong with it was eminently enjoyable, particularly to an audience that liked it.

What's brought me closure, though, is the suggestion that my criticisms will ruin your rewatch.

Thank you.
you're too dumb to tell when a joke is at your expense (or if it's even a joke), just like when I made mock agreement with your garbled PUA thoughts
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#40 Rhodesian Beat Cop

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Posted 09 August 2012 - 12:43 PM

View PostKoanic, on 06 August 2012 - 04:25 PM, said:

Hey, let me retitle that for you: "The White Knight: Vagina Rising". Yes, there actually is a scene where a vagina climbs a wall to chants of "rise, rise", and the point is that the vagina is cooler than Bane. Kill me.

View PostKoanic, on 09 August 2012 - 01:49 AM, said:

Catwoman uses her squidlike vagina propulsion system to rescue him from the superheated waves...

These posts are really cringeworthy - it's really disturbing to guess at how depraved and creepy you must be around real women.

To put it succinctly: you're ignorant about the criticism of film, which would be fine if you had taste, unique perspective or a decent way with words, but you're in privation here as well. If you had any introspection you would have come to the conclusion that your thoughts do not add value to this discussion, as they've all come from the perspective of social failure.

It's crystal clear that you're too dumb to be left alone to discover your own faults, so consider this charity: your type of boorish misogyny doesn't come across as worldly to anyone, and your lack of self-awareness and humor puts you right in rank and file with all of the other hopeless broken introverts and anosognosics on the internet. You should stop blogging and posting your diseased and worthless thoughts you deranged f****t




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